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Why I wear what I want and you should too

23/7/2016

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Over the last few weeks, I've been posting my outfits on social media to show off my wardrobe and to chronicle how my body is changing following my operation. While I was just doing this on my Instagram, I then created an album on my Facebook and have posted some images to groups that are all about certain brands. The more my confidence has grown, the more photos I post.

The support, positivity and wonderful comments I've received have been absolutely amazing, especially for someone who has struggled with body image for years. However, I've had far too many comments from people wishing they could wear the outfits that I do. 

While I haven't always worn the styles that I want to - I'd love to rock a wiggle dress but I'm just not there yet - even before I really embraced the fashions I adore now, I have been pretty experimental with clothing. I have always liked bright colours and unusual styles - one of my favourite skirts for years was multi-coloured and covered in bells - and although I was never fully confident in my body, I still wore outfits that made me feel fabulous - or at least made me smile.

I don't want people to look at photos of me and think 'I wish I could wear that'. Instead, I want them to be inspired to buy the dress they love, put it on and rock it - no matter what their size or shape. I wear what I want and I don't see why other people can't do the same. 
Why I wear what I want and you should too - Lost in the North
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I know that this is easier said than done for some, after all, there have been times when I have put an outfit back on the rack in a shop or gotten changed into something different because I was worried about what people would think. I've been hurt by harsh comments said by strangers that have made me feel uncomfortable in a dress I loved when I left the house and I've gone out only to wish I'd worn something else.

But these instances have become fewer as I've grown in confidence with my clothing choices. I'm sure I still get looks and I know there are still snide and bitchy comments said about me by people in the street, but it is much easier to shake these off when I'm wearing something I feel amazing in. 

I've also found that I get more positive comments and more people coming to talk to me about my clothes as I become more comfortable in them.

So far this week, I've had a lady come up to me while I was queuing in a shop to tell me I looked amazing, another person sat next to me on the bus just so they could say the same. while a little kid wanted to touch one of my bright yellow dresses and told their mum that I looked pretty.

There was also one person who asked me where I got my dress and if I knew anywhere that stocked similar styles in larger sizes. I was able to give her a list of retailers, talk to her about fashion, ask about her outfit and assure her that I wore the same styles when I was a size 24 so she could definitely rock them.

In the same week, I had one negative comment from someone about my weight and outfit while I was waiting at the bus stop. They got a very swift, non-verbal response and I went on my way without feeling bad about myself.

I'm not going to lie, this last instance would have been more difficult for me to deal with even a year ago and there is a very real chance that I would have been left fighting tears by it. However, I've come to realise that these negative comments are not something to feel bad about. If anything, they should make me feel sorry for the person who feels the need to tear others down just because they are a little bit different.

They may not like my size or my outfit, but I can change those things. A bad attitude is a lot harder to alter.

You should never let people like that dictate how you should feel and definitely not how you should dress. It may seem like avoiding instances like this is the best option, but then you're likely to go your whole life never really embracing your body or your style. 

I know it isn't easy to change your thought processes overnight - t is a real battle to stop doubting yourself, even over something like a dress - but it all starts with a small change.

If you've looked at any of my pictures and have wanted to wear something similar but haven't felt confident enough, or if you've started thinking about clothes that you've seen elsewhere or that already hang in your wardrobe still with the tags on, put all that aside and just take the plunge.

No one should be able to dictate to you how you feel about your body or what clothes you put on it. So dress up and go out, even if its just to the supermarket or a friend's house. Feel fabulous and enjoy the positivity coming from yourself and other people. Don't let any negative vibes ruin it.

This is the first step to filling your wardrobe with all those things you've always thought you're too fat, thin, tall, short or whatever to wear. You'll be amazed at the difference simply stepping out your door every day in an outfit you love can make.
1 Comment
Adam link
23/7/2016 06:43:50 pm

Bravo Joanna

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    Joanna Carter is a south-western writer living in The North. She is a lover of cake, cats, cider, makeup and hobbits, as well as being a fierce rockabilly feminist.

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