I asked what was meant by the comment. Was I brave because I'd chosen to wear a predominantly black outfit on such a hot day? Was it maybe because my skirt has a pattern of zombie waitresses on it? No, she said, apparently I'm brave because I chose to wear a skirt that fell ever slightly above the knee and I am fatter than her.
Unfortunately, this is a conversation that I have had many times before and I'm sure I'll have again because it is still seen by many as out of the norm when a plus-sized person wears an outfit that those who are smaller wouldn't think twice about picking up.
Wearing a short skirt on a hot day is not brave, it's common sense and an attempt to stay cool and comfortable. It isn't brave to put on any outfit in your size, as obviously, the very fact that it comes in your size means that it is designed to be worn by you. And it certainly isn't brave to show some skin just because I may have a larger body than you.
In short, please do not call me brave for my outfit choices just because I'm plus-sized.
I mean, it isn't even like I'm pushing the boundaries of fashion. The majority of my wardrobe consists of 1950s-style skirts and dresses, along with £4 tops from Primark. Some of my shoe choices may be considered brave by anyone, purely for the fact that you do really run the risk of broken ankles when wearing them. There is absolutely no item in my wardrobe that makes me think "Hell yeah, I'm so brave for wearing this".
So why do people assume that I must be brave for leaving the house in normal clothing that fits and is weather-appropriate? Why do I need to be labelled as being brave for dressing in a way that shows my curves rather than covers them up? Is it really brave to reveal to the world that my legs are perhaps a little jigglier than others?
No, it isn't.
I'm not running into burning buildings to save to people. I'm not risking my life in storms to stop people drowning at sea. I'm not performing potentially life-saving surgery with limited equipment in a war-torn country.
I'm not brave because I happened to wear a skirt that showed off the majority of my chunky legs.
If you admire what someone is wearing, no matter their size, just tell them that. You don't need to make it seem like some life-changing thing that they've decided to wear something. Just because you might not wear it yourself - although you should definitely wear whatever you want no matter your size - it doesn't make it brave of them to walk out their front door.
You might think that saying they're brave for wearing something is a nice thing to say, but saying they look good is a much nicer way to phrase it. This isn't going to make them feel uncomfortable, start them second-guessing their outfit or thinking that they should be dressing in a totally different way.
The word "brave" can have a lot of negative reactions, especially if they are already struggling with self-esteem and confidence. It effectively says that they shouldn't be wearing the outfit they have chosen, which is - quite frankly - bollocks. The sooner we can get rid of this idea of plus-sized people being brave for wearing clothes made for them, the better able we'll be to accept all types of bodies.
So rather than telling someone that they are dressed in a way that is out-of-the-norm, aka "brave", tell them you love their skirt or that they look great in that top. Boost their confidence rather than cause doubt. Be inspired by their outfit choice and wear something you have always wanted to, not because you're brave but because you like it. Normalise compliments for all body types.
Basically, please don't tell me or anyone else that we're being brave simply for wearing clothes.