I may be hoping that August isn't quite as mad - although the fact that we have a visit from my parents and a wedding to attend means it probably will be - I have had plenty of things to smile about in July. So, to keep my blog positive after being fairly rubbish at keeping up with it over the last few weeks - I'm trying to get back into the swing of things - here's my monthly roundup of lovely things.
This month has been a bit of a mixed bag due to my anxiety, but there has been plenty of good stuff going on. I've spent a lot of time with lovely people, have had a lot of fun and have ended it by making sure that I have some time to myself to relax. I may be hoping that August isn't quite as mad - although the fact that we have a visit from my parents and a wedding to attend means it probably will be - I have had plenty of things to smile about in July. So, to keep my blog positive after being fairly rubbish at keeping up with it over the last few weeks - I'm trying to get back into the swing of things - here's my monthly roundup of lovely things.
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The fact that there has been so much going on already this year has been both good and bad. It's good because it has been exciting, but it's bad because everything happening within such a short space of time has been exhausting and it has left me struggling with my mental health.
Since taking some time to deal with my mental health at the start of last year and feeling so much better after having my operation, I've been doing really well. I thought that I had it all under control, but allowing myself to get run down and yet still heaping more onto my plate has really started to take its toll, which I had to admit this week. While I fight anxiety and depression a daily basis, they do sometimes get the best of me and this is what has been happening more often recently. I've started to let things slide a bit, including my blog, which isn't ideal as this is something that proved so helpful the last time I was really struggling with my mental health. I've been putting the focus on what is good for other people rather than what would be helpful for myself, which is exactly what made me so ill previously. Even though I've known that I was starting to struggle again, it took a huge anxiety attack on Monday for me to actually admit it and realise that I need to deal with it. Previously, I wouldn't have been so open about it and would have quietly tried to do things to make it better, but this doesn't help. With recent events in the news, I think it shows that it is important to have an open and honest conversation about mental health, so I thought putting it down in a blog was probably the best option. I know I do my my monthly '10 things posts' and regular gastric band updates but I thought it was about time I do a blog about what's going on my end at the moment beyond living with my band. The first half of the year was pretty crazy and I'm hoping things slow down a bit, although we have so much in the calendar already that I get the feeling that is just wishful and won't actually happen.
So far this year, I've moved house, passed my driving test, bought a car, visited new places, got some more tattoos and have done plenty of other things that could easily take up a blog if I were to list them. While there isn't entirely more of the same planned for the second half of the year, there is definitely a lot to look forward to, be nervous about and generally cram into each month. Luckily, I've kind of gotten used to the madness so if things fall short of having to pack my life up, find a new house and move all in the space of four weeks, I'll be very happy indeed. As it is, I'm looking forward to the next few months, even if they are sure to make the end of the year come at far too fast for my liking. This time last year, I was in hospital recovering from my gastric band operation - you can read my original blog about it here. It honestly doesn't seem like it was 12 months ago and I can still remember everything about it, even when I was still groggy from the anaesthetic. I find it hard to believe that I've had my band for a year and just how much has changed in that time.
Over the last year, I have lost just over seven stone, found a new love for exercising, built muscle and strength and dropped six dress sizes. More importantly, I have been happy with my progress. I've not chastised myself for not losing weight faster, for indulging when I want to or not being able to fit into my goal dress (I've realised that my boobs are NEVER going to fit into that dress). I've watched my body go through a huge number of changes and I've pushed myself to do things that I didn't think I could do. I feel like a totally different person than the woman who walked into hospital at 6.30am this day last year. |
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