However, I am now getting back to normal - or as close to it as possible - and am well into recovery. I'm back in the office, I can get around a lot easier and I'm getting ready to ease back into exercise, all of which are positive things. I've also started to lose weight and am on my way to getting rid of my second stone and another dress size.
I'm feeling really positive and happy right now so am certain I have made the right decision by getting this procedure. As well as the good, there have also been some hard things to deal with, so it really is a balance. Here's what the first month has been like:
I am tired all the time
Even doing very little leaves me exhausted so going back to the office has been particularly difficult. I don't want to do anything in the evenings and am usually ready to go to bed at 9pm - if not before. I'm getting quite frustrated with feeling like this as I want to be able to go out after work and spend the evening with the husband, but I just can't enjoy myself because I can't get over the exhaustion.
I think it would help if I could drink more than one cup of coffee a day, but more than that can leave me feeling a bit sick unless it's iced coffee - I don't want to take my blender to work though. Fingers crossed getting onto some more substantial food will help me feel a bit more energised.
I don't get out of breath as easily
I can still find it difficult to get up the stairs if my back is hurting, but this is because they are evil and exist for the sole purpose of trying to kill me. I just need to get back into going up the stairs to my office - they aren't as steep but there are more of them. I've been putting it off because my wounds have still been a bit sore and I don't want to pull them, but this is the next step - no pun intended.
I am malting everywhere
This basically happens when you undergo a period of rapid weight loss, especially if you aren't getting all the nutrients you're used to. It should lessen once I'm onto food over liquid - which is today - and over the next couple of months as my body rebalances itself.
While it sucks, I'm willing to put up with shedding like a long-haired cat because it is a sign that I am losing weight.
The worst thing is my knees as they are ridiculously clicky now and basically hurt a lot. If I bend them, they hurt. If I straighten them, they hurt. If I lie in bed, guess what, that's right; they hurt. This is another thing that will lessen as my body sorts itself out but it is quite uncomfortable.
It doesn't help that after my surgery I got air trapped in my shoulder as well, which was excruciating. This lessened but my shoulder has felt out of place all month and then the weekend before my birthday, I lay on it and felt like I'd pulled my arm off. Luckily, the husband came running and doped me up with painkillers but I had to cancel my birthday pamper sessions - waaaah! - and have been taking it easy.
I feel more comfortable in my own skin
I think being open about my operation has helped in this department too, so much so that I've posted a bikini photo and several full-length photos to show my outfits. Two months ago, I wouldn't dreamed of doing either of these things but now I don't even give it a second thought. I love showing off my outfits, I know how to dress for my shape - let's face it, my wardrobe is pretty awesome - and I want to show that you can love fashion and dressing up no matter what your size.
These photos will also help me chronicle my journey, so I can look back at myself and see how far I've come with my weight loss. Plus, if I'm happy and confident now, I think these feelings are only going to get stronger.