I've had to start wrapping up in layers, which is a big difference from last week when I spent most of my time in sundresses and swimwear. In fact, I spent the majority of my holiday wearing a bikini, which is a huge thing for me.
Yes, I know I've posted previously about the bikini I bought myself for my birthday and I made an effort to wear it when we were in the South West, but I ended up buying myself a new one for the holiday as my other one is already too big. This meant that I was showing a lot more skin than I have in public for years, which is a huge step for me.
This made me feel really self-conscious and I started to worry about wearing the bikini while on holiday, even going so far as to pack the one-piece I took on our honeymoon, which is too big for me now. I decided to put my bikini on the first day we got to Menorca so I could see how I felt wearing it.
I looked at myself in the mirror and realised that yes, my scars were visible but they weren't that bad. It also got me thinking about what I had to go through to get them and what they symbolise, namely how well I'm doing and how hard I've worked, so I ended up not caring that people could see them.
In the end, I was brave and I got my husband to take a photo of me in my bikini (he actually took several as he sucks at outfit photos). Before I could even think about it, I posted the picture on Instagram and in my Facebook weight loss photo album.
I can't even begin to explain how amazing this made me feel. Over 2,000 people have since liked the photo and a lot of people have commented saying how they have similar scars. I also got private messages from people telling me that they were now going to brave wearing a bikini to show off their plus size bodies and/or scars. This was even more amazing, as there are so many people who have inspired me to show myself off more and I am so thankful to them, so it's incredible to think that I've done the same, even a little bit, for other people.
All of this made me feel totally happy hanging out by the pool in my bikini, in fact, my husband couldn't get over how happy and confident I was. I got a few looks, I'm not going to lie, but I figured that I'm never going to see those people again and the only person's opinion that matters is my own.
It has made me regret being afraid to wear things I wanted to for so long, even when I was smaller than I am now. The positive responses have far outweighed the negative and any negative comments have just been deleted and forgotten about.
I know it's a bit too late for people to strut their stuff in swimwear - at least it is in the UK - but it's important to remember that everyone has a bikini body, no matter how big, small or scarred it is. If you want to wear something, just go for it because if it makes you feel good, that's all that matters.
I'm now determined to treat myself to more bikinis for next summer, because no matter how my body looks next year, I can wear whatever the hell I want to.